“He Was Fine When We Went To Bed”


Working as an EMT for five years and an ER nurse for the past 12 years I see the value of life and how it can be taken away from us in a second. If you are reading this be grateful that you can.

When people share about the loss of a loved one you always hear them say, “I wish I would’ve told him this” or “I wish I would’ve paid more attention to her” or “I wish I would’ve spent more time with him.” I wish, I wish, I wish…. Stop wishing! Death does not discriminate.

Being grateful and present in the moment is something I practice every day!

I understand that we all have hectic and busy lives. That we are running from task to task. Going on about our busy days and getting things done, but there is one moment everyday that we all have. I don’t care who you are. Everyone has this one time of the day that we can spend a moment to be grateful. That moment is as soon as you open your eyes in the morning. Instead of immediately checking your phone and blasting yourself with all the constant input that drives away your attention. Stop! Lay there and think of what you’re grateful for.

When I open my eyes I am grateful that I was able to. That I was given another day to help people and spend time with the ones that I love. I am also grateful that my husband is still laying there next to me. So many people don’t have that anymore and I’m grateful that I still do. How many times do I hear, “he was fine when we went to bed.” Unfortunately way to much!

So How Do You Live Without Regret?

My Personal Tips:

  • Don’t go to bed angry at somebody.
  • Remember the last thing that you say to somebody, could be the last thing that you say to somebody. So Pause, take a breath and don’t be an ass!
  • When you’re laying next to your significant other cherish everything about that moment. How do they feel, how do they smell, what do you hear… Take it all in!
  • PUT DOWN YOUR EFFING PHONE! This is such a pet peeve of mine. When I see people out with family or friends and everybody’s faces are staring at their phone looking at everyone else’s lives when they are missing their own. What are you getting out of this? You can go home and be on your phone. You need to be present in the moment. Look at your surroundings, look at the people that you’re with, enjoy conversations, laugh… these are memories you’re making! Do you really want that last memory of somebody as something you can’t remember because you were glued to your phone. Or better yet someone saying that about you if that was your last day on earth. “Yea, she was nice but really didn’t say much cause she was always looking at her phone.”
  • If there something you need to say to somebody say it now! I mean right now… Stop reading my blog and go tell them now!

Real words from the heart from some of my most amazing colleagues:

 “Don’t hold back. Say it. Do it. Be it.”

John Mathews -ER tech

“Always say ‘good bye’ to somone (even if you are angry) in a way that you would be comfortable because you may never see that person alive again.”

Deb McConnell- Critical Care Nurse Manager

“Pray. Love. Forgive.”

Jeffery Keyt- ER Nurse

“Actually live your life. Death is indiscriminate.”

Amy Steinhauer-ER Tech

“Leave a legacy of laughter. Let every moment not count for something, but add up to a beautiful recollection for someone to recall and say ‘she/he may be gone, but damn, they were caring. They were good. They wanted the world to be better’.”

Jeanette Scott- ER nurse

“Do what you need to be happy and succeed even if you need to let go of toxic people”

Ashley Bowman, ER nurse

“Don’t allow regrets in the past to be a rabid dog, instead, a stepping stone. Its a better view”

Liz Notter, ER nurse

“My son and I have a ritual. No matter what, even if he is in trouble, we give each other a kiss and say, ‘I love you’ every time I buckle him into the his car seat. I never want there to be a time if we are ever in an accident that he doesn’t hear me say it or I don’t hear him say it. No matter what! Thats our thing so neither of us have a regret.”

Chynna Lynn- EMS

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